Human-Cyborg Relations: New Google Feature Transports Your Devices To A Galaxy Far, Far Away

Alright nerds, we know you're getting excited about the new upcoming "Star Wars" movie, even if the last three were a nightmarish pile of existential terror that made you question at what point your life dispensed with the pleasantries and made your precious memories of space-based action films diffract into such a wasteful and insipid alternate hell.

Anyway, now there's a Google feature to make your stuff all "Star Wars"-y.

It's fun both for casual users or the fan that has everything...
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According to, the Force-ful takeover will cover a suite of Google apps, including Maps, Chromecast, Calendar, and more.  All changes will appear on versions of the apps running on iPad, Chromebook, Mac, Windows, and iOS or Android phones, except for Chrome, Gmail, and Youtube, which will only reach their full capacity on your main battle, we mean computer.

"You must choose.  But choose wisely, for as the true Grail will bring you life..."
Whoops, sorry, wrong movie.
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Start at this website by choosing whether your path will be on the Light Side or Dark Side of the Force.  Your Google Chrome account will then be usurped by either the Jedi or the Empire, turning your email backdrop to scenes from the upcoming film, your "loading" status bar into a lightsaber, and your peg-man of Google maps into a stormtrooper if you're on the Dark Side, or a Rebellion pilot if you generally eschew fear and anger and things that lead down that path.  A TIE fighter or X-wing spacecraft will be your peg-spaceman's mode of transport when manifesting your desired directions. Sure beats that old landspeeder!

If you use the Waze app for directions, the effusive android C-3PO will be your navigator.  Along the way, you'll "find" TIE fighters, lightsabers, and stormtroopers on the map to your journey.  R2-D2 will bleep and bloop his assistance as well.  For once, these ARE the droids you're looking for.

A good protocol droid knows all the ins and outs of the bad parts of town.
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Other apps like Google Calendar or Android Wear are also affected, with Calendar adding dates pertinent to "Star Wars" history.  For the really hardcore types, Google Translate will rewrite your prose in Aurabesh, the official alphabet of the "Star Wars" realm (how do you think all those different weird aliens were all able to understand each other?  Inter-species intergalactic communication standards are crucial.)

Now you can write these guys love letters!
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We know, much like a certain roguish smuggler pilot, you can imagine quite a bit.  So get ready for this next flight of fantasy with every element of that imagination engaged.  Like the Force, Google has surrounded and protected and bound its apps together in one simple move.  Post your choice of path with the #ChooseYourSide hashtag and see who else in the universe is your ally.  Should your path go astray, you're welcome to change sides.  More fun to follow as the release date approaches!

Enjoy, you scruffy-looking nerfherders!

We know.
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