To Have And To Hold And To Hack: Cheaters' Website Info Held Hostage

Cheating on your spouse is probably a really bad idea.  Cheating on your spouse and leaving a cyber trail which will be inevitably hackable seems like you're just asking to get caught...

This gets even worse when your wife learns the person on the left is a dude...
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According to Wired, the infidelity-inducing website Ashley Madison has been hacked, and all of the sordid details are now in the hands of those who could use them to wreak family-smashing, divorce-inducing, alimony-extracting havoc.  However, in an interesting twist much like a love triangle gone wrong, they don't want to chat about cheating.  The hackers instead want the website shut down.

Enough of the stolen data has been released to prove its authenticity, and the dirt is not limited to who is doing the dirty.  Company salaries and even maps of the internal network have been obtained and held hostage in the name of...rescuing?...romance.

Those wandering eyes better wander back home...or else.
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The hackers refer to themselves as the Impact Team, and could indeed make some major impacts (like a meteorite slamming into the earth and killing of the dinosaurs...of matrimony) against Ashley Madison's 40 million users.  While Impact Team will allow Ashley Madison's parent company, Avid Life Media, to keep its May-December, lads-for-older-ladies Cougar Life site online, anything extramarital is to be immediately removed.

As republished by Krebs, the Impact Life statement read: “Avid Life Media has been instructed to take Ashley Madison and Established Men offline permanently in all forms, or we will release all customer records, including profiles with all the customers’ secret sexual fantasies and matching credit card transactions, real names and addresses, and employee documents and emails."

"Jesus, Stan, this is really dirty."
-"I know...who'd cheat on someone with grammar that awful?"
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To add further fascination to the fuckery, some of the hostage data is information that Ashley Madison had promised to "permanently remove" from their servers for an additional $19 fee.  That...didn't happen.  "Too bad for those men, they're cheating dirtbags and deserve no such discretion," the Impact Life team stated.

Ashley Madison claims to have secured their sites and hunted down the hackers, but should they choose to continue operations and risk the loss of their customers' most private persuasions, the losses will be both romantic and commercial.  Maybe profiting off of tragic romances should end in tragedy...but will it also take down millions of marriages in the process?

Hell hath no fury like a woman hacked.
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