|NOOOO! NOT THE HARLEM SHUFFLE!|
(Image courtesy answerbag.com.)
Suddenly, over a decade of humanity's finest and freakiest moments were up for grabs. An entire archive of human history (often stupid and ridiculous human history, but history nonetheless) was at the whim of one hacker. Visions of rap/opera mash-ups, cat videos, and rap/opera/cat-video-mashups vanishing became a tangible, terrible threat.
|"LEAVE YOUTUBE ALONE!!!"|
(Image courtesy kidzworld.com.)
Hismatullin let all of that slide, to the tune of five grand.
Despite a shockingly short study-period for this possible purge, and a looming lust that threatened to knock pop stars from their plastic pedestals, Hismatullin simply accepted a $5,000 bounty to solve the problem. Of his voyage through video Valhalla, he wrote, "In general I spent 6-7 hours to research, considering that couple of hours I've fought the urge to clean up Bieber’s channel haha."
|It is speculated that the footage of this hilarious skateboarding bulldog |
ultimately convinced Hismatullin not to wreak havoc on the popular video site.
(Image courtesy allthingsd.com.)
While we don't necessarily agree with the results (Bieber should be banished and Mr. Hismatullin should be at least $10,000 more wealthy), the plausible annihilation of so much material brings ponderous questions to mind. Are the seemingly-supple strands of the World Wide Web really mere gossamer? Could someone hack voting machines in an election? Could someone crack into a president's email? Could someone tear down Twitter (please)?
There's no safety in this cruel world. Just be thankful Mr. Hismatullin is not a wrathful man or one with an agenda, and go back to enjoying your videos...you now know that like fickle and fiendish fire of life, they could flare out at any moment.
A veritable burning of the modern Library of Alexandria could have taken place here.
Cherish this trove of wisdom while you still may.