Ashes To Ashes, Sludge To Sludge: Once You've Died, Get Liquefied?

Here's some news that's sure to brighten/frighten you for Halloween season:  now, instead of traditional burial or cremation, after death you have the option to be liquified.

It might make your skin crawl, but that's just because you still have skin to worry about.  For those who are planning what they want done with their body when their spirit has hit the road, the new "alkaline hydrolysis" may be the best final answer.  This way, you won't take up too much space or badly impact the environment after you've crossed the finish line in the human race.

According to the mirror.co.uk, the process is simple:  a body is put into a stainless-steel container with water and potassium hydroxide, then pressurized and heated for about three hours, like a creepy crock pot.  A green and brown syrup with an odor like...well, like a dissolved corpse...will be what remains of your remains, as well as a fine white ash.

Yay, my sweet embrace of death will be ecologically friendly!  This totally makes up for all the littering I did in the '50s.  (Image courtesy bioresponsefuneral.com.)


It won't take up the space a conventional burial would, it won't emit various effluvia into the atmosphere like a cremation, and the cask-distilled small-batch human juice won't be accidentally mistaken for shots if you have an Irish funeral.  The you-goo is disposed of by your mortician, but the ash is returned to to whom you bequeathed it, and it can still be kept in a vessel or distributed back to the earth if desired.

So if you haven't got the budget or archers sufficiently skilled in firing flaming arrows for your postmortem party, here is an option for a clean and earth-friendly exit.  Good going!


If there's a way death can be "healthy", this is it.  (Image courtesy snlabetterway.com.) 


1 comment: